As I prepare to cast my vote in the Michigan Democratic Caucus, I'm struck by how similar the situation is to choosing your favorite venereal disease. I think at this point I'm choosing John Edwards and chlamydia, respectively.
I'll admit to becoming increasingly cynical about the political process. But I'm trying to stay involved, and work towards change. But I'm so uninspired by all the same career politicians, whether they're in Washington or Vermont or an Army uniform. And I suppose that's what it takes to get to the highest office in the land, but maybe that's the problem.
Howard Dean started off on the right foot with me, in terms of being willing to be honest, have opinions, and state them, whether they were unpopular or not. But it didn't take long for the political process to eat him and spit him back out as an automaton. Now he's matching his opinions to the polls and hiring lobbyists to run his campaign. Really, he had made me nervous before all that though. He just has a way about him that says, "I know what's best for you, and if you don't agree then you're stupid and you'll take what I give you. " I don't know if it's hypocritical of me to want a strong president with his own opinions who will be willing to take some chances and make changes, but want him not to be too controlling or arrogant. I certainly hope that fascism isn't the only path to change. So Dean is just like the rest of them, but has a dark underside that could turn authoritarian. Maybe I can call that Syphilis.
Everyone is telling me that John Kerry is going to win here in Michigan. Well, Kerry is short of syphilis, perhaps, but there is plenty of itching and burning associated with him for me. I just don't see any difference between the John Kerry of 2004 and the John Kerry of 2003. And the John Kerry of 2003 was an uninspiring, old-guard, out-of-touch, Massachusetts liberal with no vision or speaking skills and a poorly design platform and campaign. What's changed? Well, he won in Iowa, and he started lifting the best lines from his opponents (especially John Edwards and Wesley Clark). And now I'm supposed to believe he's superman? I'm not buying it. And electability is a farce. Political science is giving a lot of credit to both parts of its name, as it assumes that politics can be understood, and that science has the tools to do so. Please don't tell me that you, dear voter, can somehow figure out how the other 300 million people in this country would vote, before it happens. So I guess Kerry gets the clap.
General Clark can't seem to be able to decide what he wants his positions to be. They change frequently, and he doesn't even seem to have made up his mind that he's a Democrat. Maybe it's like my friend Chet says, that he is just a true moderate, which is why he can fit into either party. But I don't buy it, as many of his positions seem to have changed as soon as he switched parties. It speaks to me of someone who cares more about being in the office than about what he does there. And it certainly shows that he understands the art of political gamesmanship, for all his talk of "Washington Insiders". But, probably someone that is primarily concerned with how he appears wouldn't do too much damage in the office. So Wes gets the crabs. He makes me very uncomfortable and embarrassed in many situations, but he won't cause any major damage.
So, I guess I'm sticking with Edwards and Chlamydia. He's got the potential to do some worthwhile things, but he creeps me out and I don't know why. He hasn't done anything to bother me yet. But he's a lawyer which is enough to give me a pause. And I just don't know that much. He's charming and reminds me not a little bit of the situation Mr. Clinton was in.
I only hope for the day (and would prefer that day to be November 11, 2004) when I get to choose a candidate I like and believe in. When the two parties offer me something besides voting for either the guy I hate or the guy I dislike. So maybe I'm an idealist after all.
Authors Note: The author would like to state that there was some research involved in this piece, and reassure his mother that he hasn't actually had direct experience with all of the diseases above. For more information about a serious problem that people are afraid to talk about, visit:
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/library/factsheets.htm