1) What are the qualities of your ideal mate, including physical, emotional etc. etc. characteristics? Would she be pretty? Smart? What color eyes? What type of books would she read and movies would she watch? Would she come with nuts? :-D
2) If someone you really cared for did something completely horrible to you (say, cheated on you or dumped you without any real closure, or killed your dog on purpose) what would you do? Would you do something to get revenge or would you just never forgive, never forget and never talk to them again? (And if you did go for it, what would be your choice of revenge?)
3) Say you were trapped on a desert island with Andy, Karen, Kristin and Aaron. Who would you eat first and why? (Assuming the ultimate choice of who to eat first was left entirely up to you) And no, you can't pick yourself, because everyone knows that self-sacrifice is a cheater way out. (Anyone reading this will notice that I'm not on that list, because I don't wanna get eaten for asking the question.)
1) What are the qualities of your ideal mate, including physical, emotional etc. etc. characteristics? Would she be pretty? Smart? What color eyes? What type of books would she read and movies would she watch? Would she come with nuts? :-D
This is a great question. I hated and loved trying to answer it. But here is a too-long and still not-exhaustive list.
I'm fairly certain she would be female for a start. I'm not against homosexuality in a philosophical dimension, but I've not really been attracted to men, which is a tough hurdle to get over.
I can't pretend not to be a little shallow at least; its important that I'm attracted to her. But attraction extends beyond the purely physical as well. I like beauty, but I have no tolerance for beautiful people that annoy me. So its not the most important thing. I don't think I have a "type". Hair / eye color, body type, racial/ethnic background are all pretty unimportant to me. I can think of several women I've seen and had a private "wow" moment, but none of them looked similar, so I don't think its a "type". I'm not into the current incredibly-thin heroin junkie look that is all the rage now. I'm trying very hard to come up with some kind of physical requirement here, but nothing occurs to me. OK, I like women to have hair on their head. I don't mind if its short, but not bald.
Really, its more an attitude, a state of being. Attractiveness for me is more in the way you communicate your body language than the body you communicate with. Its the message, not the medium. Smiling helps. Not smiling helps too, sometimes. Can't be explained or expressed or taught, its just there.
To be able to put up with me, a woman would need to be reasonably emotionally stable. But then, women are only fun when they're at least slightly insane (luckily, I've yet to meet one that wasn't). Approval-seeking behavior pisses me off. Jealousy and possessive behavior pisses me off. Emotional game-playing pisses me off. Neediness pisses me off. Low self-image pisses me off. Pretty much everything that is typically involved in "relationships" (including the use of that word in this context) pisses me off.
Really, I'm not that demanding. Wait, stop laughing... Its true in its own way. I don't demand much and I expect not to have much demanded of me. I've got an obsession with independence that means I'd happily do anything for someone when I'm not asked, but demand it, and there's not a chance, even if I wanted to. Its my own insanity, and is unlikely to change.
Its important that she has a sense of humor. Its important that she has a sense of the absurd. Its important that she not take me or herself too seriously. Its important that she be tolerant with silence and not think that there's something wrong when I don't talk for long periods of time, which happens frequently. She would need to be comfortable with the fact that I could disappear for a couple months at a time. She would need to understand that needing time by myself doesn't undervalue her. She would need to put up with me being an inconsolable whiny asshole while driving on long trips, or sick, or anxious.
She would challenge me intellectually and tell me I'm full of shit when I am. I've never desired a mirror as much as a complement, someone who's gifts filled my voids and vice versa. Maybe we read some of the same books and watch some of the same movies, but its important that she reads the books I wouldn't and we can use them as discussion points.
She would be adventurous and curious about everything. Fears and reservations, to be sure, but still a certain cavalier willingness to try. She would be interested in me and my life, but far more interested in her own, and ready to passionately attack her own pursuits. She would ask me my opinion, because she knows I have one, and I'm dying to share it, but hate doing so without being asked. She would then ignore my opinion if its silly. If I'm being ridiculous she would tell me, because sometimes I need that. When I'm obsessing over things I can't change, she would either help me forget or leave me alone.
She'd better be responsible with finances, or leave them to me at her own peril. She'd better be in charge of remembering what we're supposed to do or where we're supposed to go, or leave them to me at her own peril. She'd better set all the clocks in the house ahead by some random time and change it every few days.
It would help if she finds me amusing. Especially when I'm trying to be and not just being ridiculous. It would help if she finds me not entirely repulsive.
She would like words, water, thunderstorms, traveling, reading, seriously giving a damn about things, music of all kinds, movies of all kinds, great food, stillness, eating off of someone else's plate, pictures of monkeys, Italy, sushi, Abstract Expressionism, sitting outside by a fire, art print sales, community, dirt, my insane friends, the universe of ideas, motorcycles, taking the long way, altruism, sitting in the dark and talking, my parents, big ideas, boats, Dylan Thomas on Christmas Eve, hockey, things that are new, things that are old, things that are weird, things that are green, Eastern Philosophy, irony, sitting in the dark and not talking, wearing sandals, rain, spending money on experiences rather than things, swimming, walking, laughing, and laying around naked for hours.
Is it necessary for me to say at this point that I'm single? Its OK, I'm not looking.
And no, please don't set me up with your friend who just happens to fit every one of these qualities above.
2) If someone you really cared for did something completely horrible to you (say, cheated on you or dumped you without any real closure, or killed your dog on purpose) what would you do? Would you do something to get revenge or would you just never forgive, never forget and never talk to them again? (And if you did go for it, what would be your choice of revenge?)
As I said in my answer to Lenny, I forget things very easily and quickly, and for this reason I have a very difficult time holding a grudge. I do tend to keep the people who have done something horrible to me filed away, though, to avoid in the future. But I don't think I'd go after them for revenge. Not if I didn't get to them in the first couple days anyway. I don't think I'd never talk to them again, I'd just be cautious.
3) Say you were trapped on a desert island with Andy, Karen, Kristin and Aaron. Who would you eat first and why? (Assuming the ultimate choice of who to eat first was left entirely up to you) And no, you can't pick yourself, because everyone knows that self-sacrifice is a cheater way out. (Anyone reading this will notice that I'm not on that list, because I don't wanna get eaten for asking the question.)
I can only pick one? But, there are so many good reasons to eat all of them!
Andy: Andy is a sarcastic weasel. This is endearing normally, but after 10-11 days without food, it makes him look tasty. However, there's not much to eat there. Probably need to cook him with a sauce. Also, he's been involved in a conspiracy several times to make me work. Evil.
Karen: Karen tries to appear sweet, but we all know better. The second I turn my back, she's stuck a fork in it and is opening the ketchup. Oh, don't act all innocent, missy, I know better. Of course, not a lot to eat there. But really, I see it as a pre-emptive strike. Also, I went to her house and she made me eat a lot of fresh baked-goods. See? Some people might think it was just being polite, and that it was me that kept going back to the box for Napoleons and Eclairs. Hah! She was just preparing me in case she had to roast me up later on a desert island.
Kristin: Kristin smells good, so I bet she'd taste good too. She also is a very vibrant, engaging, happy person, which is endearing normally, but after 10-11 days without food makes her look tasty. Oh, and she tried to sign me up in a multi-level marketing outfit, which makes me think about firing up the grill.
Lenny: Lenny looks mighty tasty, and you don't have to remove the hair as much either. Also, one time I wrote a play, and he put a reference to "Batman and Robin" in it, and I've been harboring a secret resentment that makes me want to eat him ever since.
I suppose with all the chips down, I'd eat Lenny first, cause he's a nice guy and would offer after a while, and the rest of us would say, "Yeah, OK. " Plus the Batman thing.
But really, I love them all
(especially with rice and steamed vegetables).
Posted by ktismael at April 20, 2004 7:04 PM