OK, fine, despite the abuse, I'll admit it. I love Canada.
They've been right there across the river my whole life. I've been used to growing up seeing another country when I walk around, going there for short day trips, being harassed by their Coast Guard while boating. They brought to Michigan its love of Hockey and its traditions, and I still watch the games on CBC (which I can easily pick up from broadcast in Windsor) whenever I can. And I'm sorry that the lure of American-style capitalism has ruined the sport, is destroying its Canadian roots, and trying to turn it into Soccer on ice. I'm sorry that the league is trying to grow itself so obscenely that Calgary and Ottawa are having trouble supporting teams financially while new arenas appear in Phoenix and Dallas and Tampa Bay.
Molson Canadian is superior to every American macrobrew, and stands fine on its own without qualification. Malt Vinegar is very good in fact on French Fries, which rightfully should be sold out of a truck in a parking lot served in a paper cone. Television news really can deal with genuine issues rather than an endless parade of misery, and it is possible for a population to own guns and not shoot each other constantly with them. And for all its faults, its nice to see that they believe that the health of its citizens is worth the action of the government.
Sure, the Quebecois are obnoxious. But then, we in the States have Texas, and you wouldn't want the world to judge you based on Texans, would you?* (Too late, of course, for large portions of the world, our President has encouraged this.) And yes, they do get a bit snippy on political issues at times, but can you really blame them? I mean, they're a fairly small country in population, political and military power, and wealth, next to the biggest in most of those categories (some catching up to do on population, but then we use more resources for that population than our counterparts do). And we're talking about pre-emptively invading countries. Wouldn't you be nervous?
Mostly, though, tonight I'm in love with Canada because I now get 4 Canadian broadcast channels, since I still refuse to pay for cable. And CBC and TVO are both good. (CBC is kind of the all around Canadian channel for Hockey night in Canada and the news and the Olympics, TVO (the O is for Ontario I think) is a bit more of an egghead channel like PBS or CSPAN with interviews and lectures and such). But the new channel that never came in before (CTV) plays "The Daily Show" every night at midnight, which is one of the only things I really missed about not having cable. For the most part Comedy Central was always a lot of shows that I would waste time watching and then wondering why, but the Daily Show always seemed worth it. I'll have to keep my eye on it, maybe I'll get incredibly lucky and they'll play Kids in the Hall reruns too.
So thank you Canada, for being so much better than average but refusing to brag about it. For producing really funny comedians and actors and then letting them leave to go to America where they can immediately start to suck on shows like Saturday Night Live. For sending me CBC in English and French (on channel 54) so I can always see Habs games (even if I have no idea what they're saying). For doughnuts. For Don Cherry. For still having the Mounties in their cute little uniforms. For having a neat looking flag. For having a 19-year old drinking age, which allowed me to discover that going to the bar really isn't all that great at an early age. For starting to enact sane drug-control policies that might someday help our own country deserve to call itself the land of the free. O Canada,The True North Strong and Free, I salute you, eh.
*Of course, I'm exaggerating. I have met 3 or 4 Texans that I liked. Its just that I'm worried that they may be the *only* ones.
Those 3 or 4. Yep. The only ones.
I would recommend visiting. MWHAAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA
You should ask Troupe Charlie about Texans. He hates them. Well, most of them. You ask him, it's funny!
Not that I don't love our neighbors to the north, and want to thank them for inventing the only spectator sport this I find engaging enough to follow for an entire season, but I have to make 4 point of contention:
1.) Hockey is being destroyed by two horrible forces: too many new teams (our fault- and Gary Bettman), and the attempts to remove fighting (shared responsibility between us and our kinder and gentler, enlightened northern neighbors).
2.) Don Cherry is under siege up there. He's got the anti-fighting people saying that he's personally responsible for the Bertuzzi incident, "persecution" of "francophones", and the war in Iraq.
3.) Not to be santimonious or anything, but it really seems to me that it's the dwellers of the many urban and suburban areas of this country can't be trusted to own guns without hurting each other. The rest of us do just fine... even Texans... well, we're much much more likely to hurt ourselves. Come to think of it, I'm not sure that you guys should have cars either.
4.) The Tim Horton's doughnuts sold in Michigan were significantly better when they were still made by the Quality Dairy people rather than using Tim Horton's own recipies and methods. Sorry.
Okay, so I should be agreeable too: Molsen kicks U.S. macrobrew ass (Molsen sold in Canada even has a higher alcohol content than Molsen sold in the States!). CBC is better than ABC/NBC/CBS/FOX/UPN/WB all put together... I wish we still got it. America is where funny Canadian comics come to suck. And it's very nice of them to keep the value of their dollar perpetually low so that when I go there everything's always free.
Oh Canada, I salute you (but I'll get my health care here, thank you very much).
1) There's some of the kinder gentler sentiment up there, but its in the minority, I think. That sort of thing comes more from the soccer people in the states. Don't forget the distinction, Canadians are more *polite* but not kinder or gentler. They're just more likely to say "Your Welcome" after kicking your ass.
2) No argument.
3) Hell, rural people would shoot each other too, they just don't want to take the time to walk down the street. Another example of laziness as a virtue, I suppose, but don't act like your any different. The cars thing is the same story: You don't have anyone to run *into*. Safer perhaps, but just a lack of opportunity not any substantive difference.
4) Do-Boy in Port Huron was a great greasy spoon donut place, open late, filled with smoke. Just a tiny little place at the end of I-94. Tim Horton's moved in next door, and its never been the same. Not sure if its still there, to be honest. Yet another example of Canadian Imperialism.
"3) Hell, rural people would shoot each other too, they just don't want to take the time to walk down the street. Another example of laziness as a virtue, I suppose, but don't act like your any different. The cars thing is the same story: You don't have anyone to run *into*. Safer perhaps, but just a lack of opportunity not any substantive difference."
Yeah, I suppose cities would seem safer too if they'd just learn the rural rules for coyote (and other pest) disposal: Shoot/Shovel/Shut-up. You need some unpaved land available for step two though. Unresolved missing persons reports seem way safer than homocide reports.
Speaking of safe urban environments, did you ever get back to Laura's comment on the Freedom Festival shooting? I watched fireworks last Saturday from the deck of my parents' pontoon boat in Irons and no one at all was shot. I suppose your arguement will be that the sophisticated urbanites have far superior marksmanship skills.
I've been meaning to do an article on people's totally irrational concept of safety, and you've spurred me to finish it earlier.
My main comment: One guy out of a crowd of several hundred thousand shot and wounded 9 people. This is the most serious incident of violence that has occurred in Hart Plaza since 1974. Elsewhere, a couple hundred people sat around a Lake and no one was injured. I agree, its terrible here, I'd better get out.
(BTW, Irons, MI has a crime rate 47% above the national average. RUN!)
http://realestate.yahoo.com/re/neighborhood/search.html?sa=&csz=49644&submit=Submit
And I've never argued that city-folk are any more sophisticated, just that people are people and that its the situations and environments that cause the problems, along with some humans being naturally shitty. But that's spread out.
"(BTW, Irons, MI has a crime rate 47% above the national average. RUN!)"
Ha! Ha, ha! Ha! Ha! What they fail to point out is that it's the same snowmobile being stolen 200-300 times each winter.
How is it that the Culture Index isn't negative; there's a Flea Roast/Ox Market for christsake!