So when I first started thinking about making this change, I toyed with the idea of starting over from zero. Selling everything I had gathered and just going back to the start with nothing. In the end, I decided to hold onto most of it for as long as I could. But the universe doesn't like half measures, and someone decided to help me get the rest of the way. The short version: My house has been tossed, there is very little left, and almost everything I own is contained in the corner of a farmhouse in Traverse City. This consists of about 3 days worth of clothes, a guitar, a coffee grinder and 8 boxes of cereal.
The part that is the most heartbreaking by far is my computer, which represents about 15 years worth of writing, lyrics, and music. I backed it all up, but most of it was backed up to protect against computer failure, not theft, so there is a lot of it missing. I was really planning to get Gmail File System working, too, but never quite got the time. I was planning to take it up north with me, but I thought "It's only two weeks, and I'll be back to pick it up then." And if wishes were horses we'd be knee deep in shit.
Most of my recording equipment was out already (thanks, Sid) so that is thankfully safe. I'm not sure how much is left, as I can't go by. My Da and Jeff are supposed to stop by today and I'll get the full report, and then I'll trek down this weekend to salvage what I can.
It's dissappointing. But truthfully, I was worried with the house empty and nobody stopping by that it would happen sooner or later. And if I've got to face it, I've always been a fan of sooner. So that's it, it's done and it won't get worse. I'll get a check from the insurance company and maybe that will help to carry me through. I'll write more, and the stuff that was worth saving will be found or I'll recreate it. Nobody was hurt and everybody is safe. And I no longer have to have dread in the back of my mind that it will happen. Its past tense now.
Da said, "You know the quote, right? Life is good, if you don't *weaken*."
Well, fuck em, they'll have to do worse than this.
All things, in their own time, pass. And attachment pretty much guarantees it'll suck when it happens. With the exception of the intellectual content, this may be for the best. But that's a hard thing to say, and probably a harder thing to believe.
Let me know if I can help you with anything.
Mike A
Oh no. I know that you were trying, Ish.
It's kind of funny how the world works. You almost had the courage to sell it all and live a kind of Thoreau-like existence. But then you decided against it. And the world decided that your Walden-ish attitude was actually the right idea, and force you down that path anyway. I agree, better sooner rather than later.
Besides, if you actually had decided to sell it all, there would have been a great possibility of selling only about 25% of the possessions at a garage sale or something. And you wouldn't have made as much off the items as they were worth anyway. Then you would have had to waste your time putting things leftover on eBay or going to pawn shops. Now, the insurance company will compensate you monetarily for the items instead.
Aside from the creative loss, this seems almost like a great big neon sign that says you're on the right track. But then maybe the creative loss is part of that, too, as hard as it is. You're going to be a new person by the time this is all over. Maybe this helps speed up the process, because you seriously can't hold on to the old you anymore. And maybe that's the good thing.
I don't suppose my views on a naturalistic-causal universe that is not just indifferent and uncaring about us and our lives/choices/possesions, but has no form of consiousness or volition whatsoever and is not even capable of indifference... therefore yes, your stuff is gone because the cosmic fairies, Atman, Buddha, and, I don't know, Jesus all wish to validate you. That and it's fucking Detroit. I often leave the door to my home unlocked. No one's stolen the cats yet.
I have to admit that this is a disturbing turn of events for me though. You were very high on the list of people I know with stuff I like who would be very likely to choose, for philosophical reasons, a stuff-free existance. You can probably see where this is going. I like stuff. On to Plan B: has Lenny read Walden yet? Does he need a copy?
But yeah, the loss of intellectual property would kill me. Fuckers.
No, no, no, andy. The universe need not have intent. Intent is what we foolishly ascribe in our anthropomorphic desires. But things do "work out". Most of this is causal, in a fairly direct and observable way. But there is more at work when I look at it, a pattern in the way the tiles fall. I can't pretend to understanding, and it could just be a more advanced form of antropomorphism or human pattern-seeking, but it does line up.
Its only supernaturalism if you assume (dogmatically) that it should be some other way. That naturalism somehow defies this type of symmetry in personal relationships and events.
This doesn't require an actor or a consciousness, and I don't claim to understand the mechanism. But I can view its effects. Refusing to accept an effect because you can't define its cause is every bit as dogmatic as insisting that every effect has a single cause.
Patterns not arising from physical and mathematical laws arise from antropomorphism. Things work out because our heads are hard wired with the most advanced pattern recognition and coping mechanism known to exist in the entire universe.
You start believing in cosmic patterns and alignments you'll find yourself falling for every silly pseudointellectual, fad of the week: astrology, intelligent design, string theorey...
I spelled it "theorey" to show my derision.
Not because I suck.
And explain how the patterns do NOT follow from physical law? Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot that we've got a complete understanding of all the physical laws. Just because it isn't based on something we understand today doesn't mean it's supernatural (see wave-particle duality).
I think my mixture of sarcasm and earnestness has lead to confusion.
It's my exact point that we do not understand everything so we tend to take the things we don't understand and declare them to be in the realm of the supernatural and perhapse give them qualities they don't possess, like volition, attitude, discrimination, morals, or elegance. I consider that a fallacy. Reality is simply what it is independently of our ability to understand or explain it. I fail to see any evidence that the universe, in any form, has any regard for our presence or happiness. I could be entirely wrong. Tomorrow, it may be announced, and proven mathematically, that the force the resolves all of the contradictions between quantam mechanics and relativity is Human Free Will, and all of the dark matter in the universe is really love, but I'll wait for the proof.
The fallacy of argument to ignorance goes both ways. It is equally fallacious to say that because something can't be proven then it must not exist as it is to say that because it can't be proven it must exist.
I know this comment is really late, but if it helps any, I have some of your plays saved on my computer from college. Just let me know if you need them and I can get Stink Pants (he has my computer) to get the files to you :-)